***This piece contains strong language. Reader’s discretion is advised***
Greetings, my name is D’Arcblayd VI from house Lucius. I have long white hair as pale as snow, white skin like bone, black robes like midnight, balk wings (because the backpiece is fucking awesome), dark brown boots and gloves with the sigil of grenth on them. I’m eighteen, in case it wasn’t obvious and I go to a school in divinities reach that teaches me how to use my magic.
I’m the most popular person in school and I always get girls and other guys asking me out. But there is only one man who can give warmth to my cold dead heart. That man is Logan Thakery. He looks like Troy Baker except with shoulder length black hair (AN: If you don’t know who that is get the fuck out)
One day I was skipping class and saw him walk past me, he had a schoolo uniform on, because our school has a uniform but I wear my robes because they’re cool. He walked up to me with his jacket open, showing off his Black Veil Brides.
“Hi Blayd!” said Logan smoothly.
“Oh my grenth!” I said to Lagoon. “Lagan I didn’t know you like BVB! Their my favorite!”
“Bitch I don’t like them,” said Logan. “I freaking love them! They’re having a concert tonight in the pavilion, want to come with me?”
“Like a DATE!?!!!” I gasped. Logain shook his head yes. “But what about Jenah!?”
“We broke up,” Logan grumbeled. “She was cheating on me with Rytlock!”
“That bitch!” I said. (AN: Fuck Rytlock and fuck Jenna tey are teh worst! First rytlock is a stupid revenant so he’s a poser wanabe necro and Jenna is a skanky mesmer!)
“So I’ll pick you up at seven?” Asked Logan. I shook my head yes excitedly.
That night I dressed up nicely for the concert, I had a black t-shirt with teh black veil brides logo, lace gloves reached out to my elbows, black leggings with a lace skirt, black combat boots with the sigil of grenth on them, white foundation, with black eye liner and black lipstick. My friend Caithe came into my room just as I finished.
“Bitch you look hella sexy!” She said. “Is it true that you’re going out with Logan to the concert?”
“Shut up hoe!” I said. “It’s not like that! He just broke up with Jennah so I don’t think he wants anything.”
“Blayd!” Caithe huged me. “He is SOOOOO going to kiss you.” I blushed!
That night I waited for Lagan outside my dorm, he appeared wearing a black suit with a t-shirt under his jacket. He had white foundation on and black eyeliner. His eyes were green (because he’s a necromancer, he gave up being a guardian and joined necromancy a few years ago).
“You look sexy!” Said Logan.
“No you!” I said. We held eachothers hand and walked to the pavilion. There was a stage and a huge crowd around it. The bad hadn’t appeared yet but we were all excited. Then the music started and the band appeared. We started a moch pit and before I knew it I was making out with Logan. The music went through us as we danced and shouted. When the concert was over we decided to spend a little more time together and walked in the empty streets. We both loved the midnight in the city because of the dark gloom of the city.
“D’Arcblayd,” said Logan depressingly. “I think I’m in love with you!”
“Oh Logan!” I said romantically. “I’m in love with yiou too!” Logan then started singing rebel love son, his voice almost souded like Andy Biersack except more solemn and sexier. I looked into his eyes, the pain an betreyal in them matched my own. We kissed again and he hugged me.
That night Logan came with me to my dorm. We both said goodbye and he sang one more song with his majestic voice. It was almost like a mesmer charming me, but logan wasn’t a skanky mesmer but a necromancer.
The next morning I left me bed and changed out of my silk pajamas into black robes with green embroidery, black gauntelets, my hood of grenth, and some black high heel boots. I was getting ready to head to class with Caithe, she’s a necromancer too. But when we left our room we both gasped.
There were mordrem EVERYWHERE!
“Oh my grenth!” said Caithe. “What is goin on!?”
“How should I know, bitch?” I said taking out my gun (because necros need to use guns Anet!). “Lets kill these posers!” I started firing my gun at the morderm and Caith used her staff. Then we saw logan walking with a bunvh of minions around him.
“Blayd!” said Logan, he ran up to me and kissed me. “I was so worried! Are you alright?”
“Of course I am!” I said proudly. “A bunch of fucking posers, I bet they don’t even know who BVB are.”
“Yeah!” said Logan.
“Lets teach them all a lesson!” said Caithe. We started fighting more mordrem and suddenly a big dragon made of wood appeared.
“Oh my grenth!” I said. “What is that?!!!”
“The shadow of the dragon!” said Logan. “Run my love, he’s too pwoerful.”
“Like hell I will,” I said flipping my hair. I pointed my gun at him and started to shoot. The shadow of the dragon was pushed back by my magic bullets, he was getting ready to run.
“Insolent foold!” the dragon said. “Let us see how you like it when I take what is most dear to you!” Before taking off the dragon grabbed logan and flew off with him.
“NOOOO LOGAN!” I screamed, trying to reach for him, my wings started flapping but the dragon was gone once I started flying. “LOGAN!”
Logan was kidnapped by mordremoth and divinities reach was ruined. I couldn’t stay there any more not with the love of my life captured by the eldre dragon.
“Caith,” I said to Caith. “I’m going to the jumgle to get logan back!”
“But bitch!” said Caith with a gasp. “That’s crazt! You’ll get killed!”
“I am D’arcblayd VI of house Lucius” I said. “I will not let my boyfriend be imprisoned by a pervy jungle dragon! Are you coming or not?”
“Okay,” saud Caithe. And so we began our adventure to the jungle to rescue my logan!
We flew to the jungle and I dropped Caith on the floor. We found some mordrem and I shot them all dead.
“Fucking posers,” I said and put my gun away like revolver ocelot.
“Wow Blayd your so good with taht gun!” said Caithe. “So where do you think Logan is?”
“I don’t know Caith!” I said with tears going down my snow white face. “Logan is in the hands of a pervy dragon and I don’t know where they went!”
“You’re looking for the dragon?” Suddenly we found a gold robot thing floating towards us.
“Who the fuck are you?!” I asked.
“I am Ruka the wanderer,” said Ruka. “And I know where mordremoth is.”
“Bitch where?” I said “That dragon took my lagoon!”
“He is deep in the jungle, but it’s too dangerous!”
“I need to save logan!” I screamed. “I’ll fight that poser dragon!”
“Very well, then I shall teleport you to him!” said Ruka. He teleported us to the heart of theorns. The place was filled with poison and mordrem. I shot them with my gun and Caithe was using her staf. We finally reached the top and found Logan tied up in front of………MORDREMOTH!
Mordymoth laughed ebvily when he saw us.
“Pathetic human, you think you can defeat me?”
“Blayd my love!” shouted Logan, “Run he’s too strong!”
“No!” I said “I’ll beat you mordremoth!” I used my magic and summoned hundreds and hundreds of skeletons. “I’ll kill you with teh people you killed Mardemoth. All the skeletons attacked and I shot him in the head. The dragon was dead.
“Nooooo!” Said Mordremoth. “Curese you D’Arcblayd! I will have my revenge!” And then he died.
“Logan!” I freed my lover and we both made out over the body of the dragon, because were grim.
“We did it bitch!” said Caithe and she gugged me. “We saved Tyria!”
“I did!” and that was the story of how I D’arkbled VI of house Lucius saved the world, and I will save it again for my eternal and dark love Lagann Thakery.
***Editor’s Note : This work of fiction was inspired by the infamous Harry Potter Fanfiction ”My Immortal”. The strong language in this piece was used to make fun of the very unique style of the work that inspired it. ***
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, love affairs, incidents, dragons, magic inconsistencies, changes to the lore, are either the products of the author’s delusions or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual members of Destiny’s Edge, living or dead, or actual living story updates is purely coincidental.
Happy April’s Fool 😀